I met a Tanzanian professor a while back. Prof. Kamuzora, and to be honest, when he gave us a talk about beginning your PhD journey, I attended in order to sign the register. But he planted a seed. And it grew. I am not one of those who foresaw the rounded hat from an early age of 2, never mind that I was already teaching at the university. I thought I would leave the academy. Business …industry… were calling and I was undecided. Funny these thoughts were still with me at the ripe old age of 27.

But Prof. said something I scoffed at then: You do not need to be super intelligent to do your doctorate.  I thought this was like Beyonce declaring that beauty is not everything, or the way swimmers often tell non swimmers that that swimming is easy and (because) it is in the mind. Either way, I began to warm up to the idea of that I can actually do it if I want to do it. So I enrolled at Daystar University in 2013.

Prof. made me ask many questions: do I become a better teacher because I have a PhD? Where would I study it? How would I even start?

But what do I say to you who is about to make your decision to join a doctorate or is still early in the journey?

These are my raw thoughts and experiences.

Where do I study?

I suppose this was easy for me because my family is in Kenya and there was no way I was even going to entertain the thought of leaving my husband and young children for (at least) three years. And having had the experience of  studying abroad , I was sure I was not interested in a university outside of Kenya. However, if you have not had the experience of another culture, wherever it is, and you get the opportunity, take it. Meeting different people and being a stranger or a minority has a way of opening your mind.

You also want to find a university with the reputation of certain subject areas. For me, Daystar University for my Doctoral Studies in Communication was the obvious choice.

Do I even need a PhD?

If you are thinking of teaching at the University, this is not even negotiable. It is the minimum qualification! If you are thinking of studying an area to the highest level and engage in contribution to the knowledge in that area, yes! And if for nothing else, just for the love of reading and getting the qualification, there’s a way in which a PhD gets you a seat at the table.

The question then becomes, am I ready for it? My attitude towards the value of a PhD had to change. I was ready to make sacrifices on my time and many of the relationships outside of the family. What I knew for sure is that if my family was not part of this, I was not going to do it. Thankfully, my husband is my greatest cheerleader. I think for this journey, we all need a cheering squad- who clap on as you jogwalk on the track, but also who  raise flags when you are falling by the wayside – getting too sucked into it or when you are not giving it enough attention.

During my early weeks of course work, our professor invited his friend who had graduated from the US with her PhD under very trying circumstances (a baby, no house help, no money etc etc). Apart from squeezing commitment out of us, she told us a memorable statement : You must have the persistence of the devil!

There’s honestly no point in asking when this was measured and by what scale, but the point is clear- a PhD is hard work.

PhD by Course work or PhD by research?

I chose to do course work because I felt the need to get a good theoretical grounding in my area of specialisation. The truth is, course work is structured at least until the final exams. There is a time to attend seminars and deadlines to hand in assignments. This very structure denies you life, but shapes you for the next face of life. It is intense- lots of reading, tight deadlines, tight schedules, and a nagging reminder, with every article and seminar, how so little you know.

Course work taught me intellectual humility. Course work overwhelmed me. Course work intrigued me. Coursework made me cry. I read everywhere- and it was not the latest John Grisham. I felt guilty when I did not read. Like I did not deserve the degree I was seeking. And when I was done, I realised I had really enjoyed it and learnt so much from faculty and from my peers.

I think course work taught me to how to be a better teacher, helped me understand my students better, and really built my theoretical grounding in communication. When the deadlines were tight and I could not review my work for spelling errors, I learnt to let go, and seek to do it right the first time. When I had to read a book in a week and write a review for something I did not understand in the first place, it broke me. When I had to refer to  Wikipedia for a simpler explanation of concepts I could not grasp in academic journals, and then got an even more complex one, I learnt there were YouTube animation versions, which I fell in love with.

I miss coursework. I really do.

What will I study?

I think for all of us, there as an area we excel in and love. If perchance you have more than one area you’d like to pursue, then that’s a great a problem, because you can see either to completion. Read theses that have been done by other scholars or doctoral students in those areas, and see if you are interested in pursuing discussions in that line. Read blogs on doctoral journeys. Read blogs on subject areas. You’ll be intrigued, and pleasantly so, at people’s thinking. Ask questions and in the process, you may find no answer – but therein might be a research issue for you to explore.

I have heard it said “look for something you love”… something you can sustain for life and makes you get up dancing at the thought of reading about it. Perhaps that works for some. For others, I like to say, develop an affair. Organise a marriage. You will learn to love it as you move along. After the doctorate, there will be beautiful young topics you can date and marry for life.

What is the ”problem” you wish to explore?

For me, there cannot be a more annoying question, yet one that must be asked. The thing is, if you are in an area with a dominant background of positivist research  or bias , there is a higher likelihood that people will ask you about a problem. People also ask about ‘gap‘ or about ‘issue‘ or about ‘what your contribution will be‘.

To be honest, that question is not always comfortable because what you think might be your unique contribution was probably discussed decades before you were born. There are always research issues to explore. Not all of them will be life saving discoveries that make the world stop and stare, but the calling for you as a scholar is to make a contribution- and nobody quantifies that contribution as medium or small. So where do you find these gaps?

You will find, examples of dissertations …sometimes even Masters ones help to shape your ideas and give you concepts that you can extend, angles you can explore or correlations you can make. I loved reading dissertations that had nothing to do with my area of study. I read even strange sounding ones- like on pole dancing, and even stranger, on inanimate things like bread. All of these helped me look deeper into my area of interest.

Often times, a requirement in research, especially the last chapter, is to give recommendations on areas of further research. This is a good place to check out what has not been done yet, especially if the research is recent. 

I spent months reading and making notes and asking questions over and over again. This is a repetitive journey and persistence is key. One other valuable activity is to attend defenses not just doctoral ones, but also for Master’s students. The panel tends to ask similar questions and those can help shape your problem.

The question (problem) of supervision

I must say I have no authority to speak about bad supervision. I have had the best supervision journey ever, first with Dr. Paul Mbutu, then later with Dr. Jane Awiti. Dr. Mbutu has the most hilarious one worded responses to my paragraphs of text messages. But he reads. He asks why he has not heard from me. He pours me coffee when I visit his office. He offers an ear even when I drop in to check on him, unannounced. Being the academic registrar, he is busy- but gives me time, and does not take me on a guilt trip about how busy he is and therefore how honoured I am. I l already know that because I see it. We have early 7am meetings in his office. He does not and has never ignored me. And to top it all, I feel he cares.

So to reciprocate, I text him my progress and even drop the random message of “I’ll see you soon” …even when I have made no progress. Because I do not like his phonecalls when I have nothing of my progress to speak about. But sometimes, he is just calling to see how I am getting on.

However, I have heard chilling stories of poor relationships, unavailable  supervisors etc., but I have also heard stories of students who want the supervisors to do the work for them and bear the cross, sometimes for them.

I have also heard of creative ways students have got the attention of their supervisors: marked for scripts while they read your work, taken them out for coffee, suggested early morning meetings, entered marks for them in the academic system, showed up for a chit chat but sneaked in troubling questions etc. The unanswered emails or phone calls should not put you off. They should rather put your mind on the overdrive, thinking of ways you can get help.

I once heard someone encourage us to look for young doctorates who are keen to increase their supervision mileage. Sometimes the system does not recognise them as first supervisors, but they can be second supervisors or become critical friends who give you valuable pointers which you then discuss with your lead supervisor.

Experienced professors are assets to your study and usually they would be the lead supervisors. No matter how busy they are, look out for ways of working with them. You are the student! True, they need to help us younger ones get to where they are, but sometimes our arrogance, impatience, laziness, and simply our not pulling our weight really gets in the way. If you could find a young doctorate who can can ‘secretly’ ask troubling questions and help you shape your work, this would be great.

I guess the suggestions are endless. What you cannot afford to do is be a cry  a baby and seek guidance on every small bit. The internet is awash with ideas that you can use and then run them by various people, even those not in your field. I found YouTube particularly useful in helping understand many things as explained by various professors, even in terms of the technical writing and theoretical processing of concepts. So do  your  bit. Only seek guidance, not babysitting- and I say that in the sweetest of ways.

If you have had a terrible supervision experience, I am sorry…I really am- but this is no reason to give up. Remember the persistence of the devil?

And other things

1. We often think teens and young people in their twenties have an attitude- a negative one at that…I think we all have degrees of it towards something. Academics, I find, have a negative attitude towards listening to people or reading something they feel will give them ‘nothing new’. That right there can stifle thought. Develop an openness to learning over and over again.
2. Reading was often overwhelming. But I learnt to organise my reading. I used sticky notes and highlighters, I drew mind maps and spider diagrams. I had to become and feel like a student once again. I opened numerous folders with very very specific names of chapters I had downloaded. I just did not want to risk finding a good paper and not being able to find it again.
3. I took time off and wore jeans and carried a rucksack full of printed paper and books. Sometimes I walked around campus (aimlessly) and sat at the discussion zones. I got lost in the midst of undergraduates. I ate student food and ate mandazi as I walked (ouch)…All of these helped me remind myself that I was a student. And my business was was not yet done. I attended concerts and cheered loudly, and once when a classmate of mine and I attended a jazz concert in school, I asked for an autograph. My mind read student. These things worked for me.
4. I went through stages or phases…sometimes I did not want to talk about my study – really because there was nothing to talk about. I also lacked confidence and didn’t feel “academic enough”… and sometimes I selected who to talk about my study because I felt they understood the journey. So I developed academic friends. People who would not only question my thinking, but also who asked me if I had thought about m and n and o.
5. Then I also realised I had really changed my way of thinking. My husband once told me also…I hope it was in a good way. The truth is, the doctorate- the entire process, will change your thinking. Things that did not offend begin to offend you and, sometimes, you arrogantly declare that others have nothing to offer because it was not based on reason- even though you yourself have no reason. If you have a faith, it may distort or strengthen the faith. I questioned my faith fiercely even for myself, but that is part of the package.
6. While I learnt to think better (I hope) and differently, I also learnt there is grandeur in simplicity. And sometimes you find this simplicity as you wade back from the deep end. My ideas changed over and over again, but I was careful not change too much, because I’d have the world as my specimen after graduation.